Names
by celticskyedancer
Summary: You're name is what?" Names can hold special meaning and significance. The Cosmos Warriors discuss their own names and take a few stabs at the Warrior of Light's name.


_A/N: Yet another Dissidia Oneshot. Hope you enjoy!_

"**You're name is what!?" Names can hold special meaning and significance. The Cosmos Warriors discuss their own names and take a few stabs at the Warrior of Light's name. **

--

Cosmos' Warriors were gathered around a campfire for the night, when Zidane just had to ask: "Hey Squall, why are you called Squall anyways? I mean, you don't meet too many people named Squall."

The usually apathetic brunette rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Why?"

"I was just curious," the blond genome protested. "I mean, it's just an unusual name."

"Why are you called Zidane?" Squall countered.

"Because it has something to do with the word gypsy in another language, and it's a character in a play," the genome replied proudly.

"You were named after a character in a play?" Cecil asked.

"Yep!"

"That's a stupid way to name a person," Bartz mumbled.

"At least I'm not named after a body part," Zidane countered.

"My name is not Butz! It never was Butz, and it will never be Butz."

"It will if Zidane and I have anything to say about it," Luneth snickered. "I think you should get it legally changed."

"And give Faris even more reason to tease me?" Bartz asked. "No thank you."

Zidane turned his eager attention back to Squall. "Well?

Squall glanced up at the other warriors only to find that their gazes were turned to him expectantly. "I don't know why my name is Squall."

"Well then take a guess," Zidane said encouragingly.

"My mother's name is Raine," Squall said after a moment.

"Oh so you have a weather name like her," Luneth said. "That's neat."

Squall shrugged. "I guess."

"Hey Cloud, why are you named Cloud?" Luneth asked, turning easily to his blond idol.

"If I knew that, the world would make so much more sense," Cloud replied. "I seriously have no clue."

"Well take a guess like Squall," Zidane said.

"My mom likes weird names I guess," the blond replied with a shrug.

"Hey, Luneth where does your name come from?" Bartz asked.

"Are we really having this conversation?" Squall muttered under his breath.

"I find it entertaining," Cloud said. "It's better than discussing our sexual preferences."

"Remind me to kill Zidane for that comment yesterday," Squall replied.

"I got my name from the moon I guess," the silver-haired boy replied. "I mean the 'Lun' part fits, right?"

"It makes sense," Zidane replied. "You're Moon Boy from now on!"

"What, no!" Luneth protested. "I like my name, but that nickname sucks."

"Well then make yourself a nickname," Zidane replied heatedly.

"He already has a nickname," Terra put in, hoping to avert the inevitable fight. "He's the Onion Knight, remember?"

"I don't like that nickname either," Luneth whined.

"You're dressed like an onion," Bartz replied. "Get used to the nickname."

"I also fight as a ninja and sage, but I'm not Ninja or Sage. No, I'm Onion Knight."

"Be thankful it's not shorty," Cloud said.

Luneth glared at the older swordsman. "That's your nickname."

"Now, now," Terra said with a small smirk. "Cloud's not short: he's vertically challenge."

"A.K.A. short," Zidane said.

"You and Luneth are ones to talk," Cloud retorted. "I'm taller than both of you."

"But shorter than everyone else except Terra," Tidus said. "And you're one of the oldest ones here, after the Warrior of Light and Cecil."

"Hey Cecil, where does your name come from?" Zidane asked.

"I was named after my mother," the paladin replied.

"So you've got a girly name?" the genome asked.

"Doesn't your name come from _gitane_ which describes female gypsies?" Cecil shot back.

"Touché, Cecil," Zidane glowered, "touché."

"I think it's sweet that you were named after your mother," Terra said.

"Looks like you're next then," Luneth said.

"For what?" the half-esper mage asked, confused.

"To tell us about your name," Zidane replied.

"I think Bartz should go next," Terra replied.

"He'll be after you then," Zidane said. "So what about your name?"

"Well it means earth," Terra said. "Which I find weird since I'm not a very grounded person. But I guess my parents just liked the name. I'm glad they chose it over something like Tina."

"What's wrong with Tina?" Firion asked.

"Nothing," Terra said, "Kefka just calls me that all the time so I don't like it very much."

"Kefka's insane," Cloud muttered. "I wouldn't worry about anything he says. Now actions are a whole nother category, but that's different."

"Yeah," Zidane said. "Kuja can say some pretty weird stuff but he never does anything too drastic, because all his plans fall to pieces and…"

"Bartz is next!" Luneth interrupted. "And why do all our conversations end up on the bad villains anyways? Why don't we ever talk about the good villains? Like Golbez or Jecht…"

"My father is not a good villain," Tidus replied.

"You're the only one who thinks so," Firion said. "And deep down, I'm pretty sure you agree with us."

"No."

"Bartz is supposed to be telling us about his name," Luneth said. "Stop getting on tangents!"

"Technically you started that tangent," Zidane said. "You're the one who brought up Golbez and Jecht. So Cecil, why do you have a normal name while Golbez has such a weird one? What does Golbez mean anyways?"

"I think it has something to do with flies," Cecil replied.

"Your parents named you after your mom, but he gets named after flies?" Tidus asked.

"No, my parents never named me because my father died shortly before I was born and my mother shortly after…"

"I'm sorry," Terra said.

Cecil shrugged. "At least they're together now. But they named Golbez 'Theodor'. It was Zemus who gave him the name Golbez."

"So the crazy alien guy names your brother after some kind of fly…" Zidane said. "Why does that just make sense?"

"So that's why you named your son Ceodore!" Bartz exclaimed.

"Yes," Cecil replied. "Rosa and I both agreed that naming him after my brother would be a perfect idea."

"This still doesn't explain Bartz's name," Luneth muttered.

"You're normally the one getting us _off_ track," Tidus said.

"Bartz is just an awesome name," the brunette adventurer replied. "Period."

"Yeah," Zidane snickered, "because Bartz is actually Butz and Butz…" Before he could finish his statement, he and Luneth broke into hysterical laughter.

"My name is not Bartz! I mean, it is Bartz, I…" Zidane and Luneth only laughed harder.

"In retrospect, you probably should have never mentioned that you always spelled your name like that when you were little," Firion said.

"Thanks," Bartz retorted dryly. "Looks like you can go next, Firion."

"Well I don't know where my name comes from," the Rose Warrior replied. "I guess it has something to do with a grandparent or something, but I'm not sure."

"I see," Zidane said. "Looks like you're next, Tidus."

"All right!" the blitzballer exclaimed. "Well Tidus means sun so I guess my mom chose the name because she knew I would be happy and I have blond hair and all so…"

"Are you sure your dad didn't name you?" Bartz asked.

"My dad did not name me," Tidus said. "He pretty much ignored me all the time so…"

"Is that why you're so bitter?" Cecil asked.

"I've got a list of reason," Tidus replied. "I doubt you want to hear them."

"No!" Firion, Luneth, Zidane, Cloud, and Cecil exclaimed.

"But yeah, I guess it also has a smaller connection to the tides since the ocean is a pretty big deal with me being a blitzer and all."

"That's pretty neat," Zidane replied. "So all that leaves is the Warrior of Light." All eyes turned expectantly to their silent leader.

"Does anyone actually know what the Warrior's name is?" Luneth asked.

"I can hear you," the swordsman replied. "I suppose it is only fair to tell you that…"

"I've got an idea!" Zidane exclaimed. "Let's guess your name!"

"Guess?" the Warrior of Light asked.

"Yeah!" Zidane continued. "It will be much more fun that way."

"Okay," Bartz said. "Everybody has to guess at least one name before the Warrior of Light tells us. Is it Jacob?"

"No," the helmed swordsman replied.

"How about Jonathan?" Zidane asked.

"James?" Tidus asked.

"Does it start with a J?" Bartz asked.

"No, no, and no."

"Okay," the adventurer continued. "Squall you take a guess!"

"Michael," the scarred gunbladesman finally said.

"No."

"Dolores!" Luneth exclaimed. All eyes looked at him strangely. "What? I figure since he won't tell us his name that it's something embarrassing like a girl's name."

"My name is not Dolores."

"Xavier!" Zidane exclaimed. "That's an awesome name!"

"No."

"Man this is hard," Tidus said.

"Do you share a name with anyone here?" Cecil asked.

"No."

"Is it Zeza?" Bartz asked.

"No."

"How about Leo?" Terra suggested.

"No."

"Hilary!" Luneth exclaimed. The Warrior of Light ignored him.

"Jacques…no wait it doesn't start with a J. How about M or L or A?" Firion asked.

"No to all of those."

"Wow, you've got a hard name," Bartz said. "Is it Alexander?"

"No."

"Miranda!"

"How about Banon?" Terra asked.

"No."

"Borghen?" Firion asked.

"No."

"Does it start with a B?" Cloud asked.

"No."

"How about an S, R, N, or E?" Zidane asked.

"No again to all."

"Maybe it starts with a T like Thomas or Tormod," Cecil suggested.

"Tiffany!"

"Luneth, for the love of Cosmos, stop choosing girl's names!" Cloud snapped.

"You're so mean!" Luneth exclaimed. "I'm not speaking to you for the rest of the night."

"I give you five minutes."

"I'm not talking to you."

"You do realize…"

"No, Cloud. I'm giving you the silent treatment. I'm not going to talk for the rest of the night. The rest of the night."

"Whatever you say," the chocobo-haired swordsman replied with a faint smirk.

"Yep, you'll be trying to get me to talk all night, but I won't give in," Luneth said. "You can try as hard as you please, but I'll be as silent as a rock."

"It will be so hard seeing as you have yet to actually shut up," Cloud muttered.

Luneth glanced over his shoulder to see a smirking Cloud. He turned away, picked up a nearby pinecone at Cloud, and flung it at the older warrior. "You jerk!" he exclaimed, fuming.

"Hey!" Cloud protested as a barrage of pinecones assaulted him. "I give! Stop throwing pine cones at me!"

"Yeah!" Zidane exclaimed. "Because if anyone is throwing pinecones here, it will be Bartz and me, and we will be throwing them at Squall."

Said brunette glared at him. "Do and die."

"Which is exactly why we are not throwing them at you," Bartz input.

"Does your name have anything to do with plants?" Terra asked.

"No," the Warrior of Light replied.

"I bet it starts with a really obscure letter, right?" Cecil asked.

"Okay, is it Xande?" Zidane asked.

"No."

"Xigbar?" asked Cloud.

"No."

"You would so be a Xemnas!" Luneth exclaimed.

"No," Tidus, Squall, and Cloud said at the same time.

"Why not?" the Onion Knight asked.

"Long story," Squall replied. "Very long story. The Warrior of Light is no Xemnas."

"Besides," the Warrior of Light added. "My name doesn't start with an X."

"Okay so how about Jeremiah?" Luneth asked.

"No J names," Cloud reminded the younger boy.

"Is it embarrassing though?" the Onion Knight asked.

"Not necessarily," the helmed warrior replied.

"See, Luneth," Zidane said. "He doesn't have an embarrassing name."

"He said not necessarily," Luneth protested. "That's like saying 'Yes, but I'm not telling you that.'"

"No, it's a no."

"If it was a no, he would have said no. He said 'not necessarily.' That's not a definite no."

"That is so a no!"

Squall rolled his eyes. "Are you really having this conversation?"

Zidane glared at the brunette. "Yes, Squall, we are really having this conversation."

"What letter does your name start with?" Cecil asked.

"No, it has to be yes or no question," Zidane whined.

"Does it start with a Q?" Cloud asked.

"Come on Cloud," Zidane said. "Why would he have a Q name?" The genome turned to face the Warrior of Light accusatorily. "Does your name start with the letter Q?"

"Yes."

Nine pairs of eyes fixed onto the Warrior in shock. "Your name starts with a Q!?" Bartz exclaimed. "I don't know any Q names."

"Quan or Quina?" Zidane asked.

"No…" The Warrior of Light's voice trailed for just a moment, but no one seemed to catch it.

"Quetzacoatl?" Luneth piped.

"The summon?"

"Yeah!"

"No."

"Hey Squall do you know any Q names?" Bartz asked.

"One," the gunblader replied after a moment.

"Well?" Zidane asked.

"It's a girl's name."

"So?" Luneth asked, facing the Warrior of Light. "Do you have a girl's name?"

"Well, technically it is androgynous, but it's not necessarily a girl's name."

"Okay," Tidus said. "I don't know any Q names."

"Quinton or Quincy?" Terra asked.

"Close."

"Close?" Zidane asked. "Well what is your name then?"

A wry smile crossed the Warrior of Light's face. "I thought you wanted to guess what it was."

"Quoseph, Quack, I don't care," Zidane said. "I need to know!"

"It's Quinn."

Silence hovered between the Cosmos Warriors for a few moments.

"Seriously?" Bartz asked after what seemed like an entire minute.

"Yes."

"Your name is Quinn?" Tidus asked, as if carefully enunciating each word.

The Warrior of Light rolled his eyes. "Yes my name is Quinn and…"

"Why Quinn?" Zidane asked.

"It means counsel, which is why I think my parents chose that name," the Warrior of Light replied.

"Oh, that fits you," Luneth said. "You're name is Quinn!"

Again, the Warrior of Light rolled his eyes. "Yes, we've established that."

"I know," Luneth amended sheepishly, "but I'm still trying to soak this all in."

"Yeah," Bartz said. "I would have thought that you would have some name like Kent or David or Richard."

"Richard's more of a dragoon name," Cecil muttered.

"I don't think so," Luneth said.

"No, Cecil's right," Firion said. "Richard is more of a dragoon name. I knew a Ricard Highwind who was a dragoon."

"That's weird," Cecil muttered.

"What is?" Tidus asked.

"Oh, my best friend is Kain Highwind , a dragoon…and his father's name was Richard."

"And Ricard had a son named Kain."

"Okay now that is crazy weird," Bartz said.

"Highwind must be a dragoon name then," Luneth chimed.

"Well I knew a Highwind who wasn't a dragoon," Cloud said.

"Did he wield a lance and/or special in jump attacks?" Cecil asked.

"…Yes," Cloud muttered.

"Then he was probably a more modern version of a dragoon," Firion said.

"Yes," Zidane said. "Highwind is obviously a dragoon name, but let's not forget that we just found out that our leader's name is…" The genome snickered. "Quinn."

The Warrior of Light rolled his eyes. "It is not that funny."

"Dude, yes it is!" Zidane exclaimed. "You're name is _Quinn_. Do you realize how anticlimactic that name is? You're the Warrior of Light, shrouded in mystery. Our fearless, unwavering leader, master of the sword, faithful servant to Cosmos and the light. You're name is Quinn! I'm still trying to soak this in. Quinn. I would have never guessed that. Just…wow."

"Are we done stressing over my name?" the Warrior of Light asked tersely.

"I don't think you'll ever live this down," Terra said. "You should have lied."

"I don't see what's so wrong with my name."

"No offense," Firion said. "But it's Quinn. That name is just so un-you…"

"And how is it un-me?" the Warrior of Light, raising an eyebrow in inquiry. "I happen to think my name fits me perfectly."

"It's just that Quinn is such a funny name, and you're a very serious person," Tidus said. "I just think that a person named Quinn would be more of an oddball."

"If you think about it, we all have our share of oddball traits," Terra said.

"Elaborate," Cloud challenged.

"Tidus doesn't actually exist, Zidane has a tail, Squall is a lion, you are a chocobo incarnate, I'm half esper, Bartz is terrified of large trees…"

"I fight the evil tree of doom. You would be scared of trees in my position as well," the brunette said.

"Cecil is half alien," Terra continued.

"Lunarian," the paladin corrected with a sigh. "I am not half alien. Lunarian's are not like the green aliens most envision."

"Luneth dresses up like an onion, Firion wears a turban and can't keep track of his weapons if his life depended on it, and the Warrior of Light wears the horned helm." Terra snickered. "And his name is Quinn."

The Warrior of Light rolled his eyes yet again as Terra dissolved into a fit of laughter.

"We can so make fun of you again!" Zidane exclaimed. "We ran out of helmet jokes in the first week, but now that we know you're name…"

"The first person to make a Quinn joke dies."

Zidane, Bartz, Luneth, and Tidus looked at the Warrior in shock. "Ha ha, good one, Quinn," Bartz said.

"Do I joke?"

"You're no fun!" Tidus exclaimed. "You're just like Firion, with a stick up your…"

"Excuse me?" Firion asked.

"Not in front of Luneth," Cecil, Cloud, and Terra said at the same time.

"I know what he was going to say," Luneth said. "I'm fifteen; I'm not a kid."

"Yeah," Tidus continued, looking at Firion. "You seriously need to learn how to relax."

"Any reason you are so against Quinn jokes?" Squall asked.

"I grew up with Quinn jokes, and I face constant harassment from my friends every day. I was hoping that everyone would be a lot more mature here."

"With a name like Quinn, I don't think you'll ever outrun the harassment," Terra said.

The Warrior of Light just rolled his eyes. "It is getting late. We should retire and get some rest before we start out tomorrow."

"I take it you'll take first watch, eh _Quinn_?" Zidane asked.

"Actually, you can take first watch all by yourself for a full four hours," the Warrior said.

"What! You can't be serious."

"Good night, Zidane," Bartz said, rolling over onto his sleeping mat.

"Night everybody," Terra called before disappearing into the only.

"At least give me someone to talk to," Zidane whimpered.

"See you in the morning!" Luneth exclaimed, taking up his position as guard outside Terra's tent. The rest of the Cosmos Warriors began preparing for sleep.

Zidane scowled. "Stupid Quinn," he muttered, sitting down on a log by the fire. "I'm sorry," he finally said out loud.

"You're forgiven," the Warrior of Light said. "Firion help him for two hours."

Zidane smiled. "Thank you."

"That still means you have to keep watch for four hours," Squall said.

"What!"

_A/N: Do not mock the Warrior of Light. You will not go unpunished. I got a lot about their names (especially Zidane's) from the Final Fantasy Wiki. _

_Yes, Terra gets the only tent since she's a girl and needs her privacy._

_Also, Quinn is an epic name. End of story._

_Please review and let me know what you think!_


End file.
